When you are fired, or even when you think you might lose your job, your mind runs rampant in all directions and begins to open ideas that have been packed deep within the corners and dusty attic of your brain. All of the desires you wished you could do with freedom of a new outlook suddenly come to the forefront of plausibilities. And sure, visions and dreams are difficult to attain, but losing a job can sometimes force you back to the ideals.
Recently I found myself in a weird, limbo stage of an experience. I was caught “in-flight” back to Atlanta from my weekend away in Maine. But before the flight, I received word that my boss was going to fire me upon my return, and he just hadn’t told me yet. It’s strange that everyone else seemed to know. It wasn’t exactly the emotions I wanted to hop on a plane with, but I flew anyways, standby Delta, scotch nearby and waiting potential reality. I wondered if turning back to Portland would be better. I doubt that was the answer, but it sure was tempting. And part of the unknown was that they hadn’t actually fired me yet, and didn’t have true grounds to do it. I covered my bases before I left. So my quandary was on whether to exhaust my mind on how to keep my job or on what the future could hold, what would be next.
Here I am in the next. I have a firm foundation, not so wrapped up in where I find my work. For my daily breath reminds me that it always works out. And maybe the reason I was supposed to go to New England was to get forced out of San Fran Coffee, because I might not have left otherwise. It’s time for something better. I returned encouraged and rejuvenated for whatever is ahead, and my mind is still opening dusty boxes of ideas, like being found in the attic. And every time I walk outside, away from myself and my stored up ideas, I’m reminded that I’m part of creation. It’s a good thing it’s Autumn.